I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
