i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
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Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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