Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
