Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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