Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
