I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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