this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
