Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
