Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
