how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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