we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
smell my finger.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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