Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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