4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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