Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
