I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
