Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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