Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to make a zoo with you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
