you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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