But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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