Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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