every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
