Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
