That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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