Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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