Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
