so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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