She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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