so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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