I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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