just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
