Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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