so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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