I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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