Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
