That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
