I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
