i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
