Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
