I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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