my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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