Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sober January is a disaster.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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