well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
