i think my tv is drunk
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
