college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He has the fingertips of a God
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