He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
