Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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