well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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