the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize