So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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