I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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