this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.