Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?