remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B