Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
