Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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