it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize