That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
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He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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