when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
