i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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