forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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