I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im holly from the hills drunk
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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